Yes, it is true, police dogs are now being trained to smell out the vapor that electronic cigarettes produce. We're not exactly sure why, so we've sat ourselves down with the officer John Morter, head of the police department of St. Paul, Minnesota, to ask him why they have decided to do this, and their goals.
"You see, out of all "vapors" the majority of them are actually high school kids. Now, once in a while, instead of doing something more helpful or productive for the community, we organize school lock downs and bring in our drug dogs to make sure there is no pot in the lockers or on any students. Now, because the majority of high school students are under the legal age to have nicotine, we've now trained our drug dogs to also smell out these vapes to crack down on kids illegally using them while simultaneously eliminating douche bags from schools. It's a win win"
To us, that seemed pretty odd, but if it helps lock away future white supremacists, it's a win in our book. Now of course, we had questions and concerns. For example, what about the 1% of people who actually started vaping to quite smoking? If they got pulled over by a K9 cop, things could get pretty confusing. And of course the big question, how did they manage to train these dogs to do such things?
"First of all, there are like, three people in our city who are of legal age using E-cigs to quite smoking, Jim, Martha, and Greg. We have given those people a special card to keep on them so we can scan it, and they also have a bar code on their license plates to let us know not to search them with a drug dog. as for the training of our dogs, we actually didn't train them at all. Turns out dogs just hate vapers as much as we do."
Well, there you have it. You can hide your repulsiveness, but you can't hide your vape. We sure thing think these cops are on the right track by busting minors, and keeping schools safer (from drugs, not guns. Im not sure when they will start doing that.)
But anyways, we here at The Sad Factor wanted to do one last interview with Martha, one of the protected vapers in the community, to see how it has effected her, and what she thinks about his new wave of enforcement.
"It's pretty nice actually. When I get pulled over on my way back from a meth deal, the cops don't even think to search me. fucking idiots"